Five Lies

According to an magazine article I read, which were written for women by a woman, women tend to tell five little white lies to men.  Therefore, apparently while lovingly staring into his eyes, I will adoringly state that:

1. I love his family

2. I never think about my ex

3. I will never ever bring up old arguments

4. That size does not matter

5. And I really want sex.

Erm...in my reality, those little white lies are slightly different. While staring at him pleadingly with big innocent eyes, making sure that my bottom is well out of reach (or at least trying to keep it out of reach) I will vehemently state that:

1. I did not pull a face or mocked his tone of voice during yet another sermon.

2. I am not being cheeky and insolent.

3. I never backchat or argue a point when I know he is right.

4. I never, ever sulk.

5. I have NO idea what happened to his cane, slippers, tawse, belt, and paddles.

And the one thing I never lie about?

I really want sex (even with a sore and red bottom)!