2011/03/13

Raven's Need a Spanking Award: Laws

I am not sure what the thought processes were behind certain laws...uh, what am I saying? The mental capabilities are questionable in itself, but I really would love to know where these "lawmakers" found their inspiration to pen down what must be the silliest laws that are/were in existence.

Kissing:
Iowa:  
After 5 minutes of kissing, you will be breaking the law.
*****
Logan Country, Colorado:
Kissing a sleeping woman is illegal.
*****
Eureka, Nevada:
If you have a moustache, it is against the law to kiss a woman.

Dress code:
Kentucky:
Females are not in breach of the law if wearing a bath suit on any highway when she is escorted by at least two officers, or unless she is armed with a club.
An amendment of this law further states that the provisions of this statue do not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds or exceeding 200 pounds.
Oh, and it does not apply to female horses.
*****
Bozeman, Montana:
No sexual activity allowed between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown if they are nude, however, if you wear socks, you should be safe from being arrested.
*****
Helena, Montana:
Any female that might have a desire to dance on a table in a saloon or bar must make sure that she is wearing at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing to stay on the right side of the law.

Places:
Liberty Corner, New Jersey:
Avoid having sex in a parked car, accidental sounding of the horn (referring to the car's horn here..), might result in you going to prison.
*****
Oxford, Ohio:
Women are not allowed to remove their clothing if standing in front of a man's picture.
*****
Oblong, Illinois:
It is punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.

Sex:
Washington DC:
Anything else but the missionary-style position might land you up in some trouble with the law.
*****
Willowdale, Oregon:
Husbands to take note that in order to stay within the boundaries of the law, cursing should be avoided whilst having sex.
*****
State of Washington:
No sex with any virgin under any circumstances, and that includes the wedding night.

Laws I DO agree with:
Kentucky:
It is illegal to marry the same man more than 3 times.
(If it did not work the first three times, TRUST me, it is highly doubtful that it will work on the fourth try)
*****
Alexandria, Minnesota:
No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions or sardines on his breath, if his wife so requests, the law states that he must brush his teeth.
(Eh, the rolling of her eyes is not an indication of your excellent performance, she is most likely busy passing out!)
*****
Connorsville, Wisconsin:
Please refrain from shooting off a gun if your female partner is having an orgasm.
(That will kill the moment...seriously...)


Finally, something on Spanking:
Los Angeles:
A man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, however, the belt cannot be wider than two inches. Anything wider, please obtain her consent prior to the event, as is carefully stipulated.

4 comments:

lil said...

LMAO. That's awesome. I wonder if they ever think to update these laws??

dd said...

Raven! Where did you find these?!

Fantastic, I now know to avoid LA at all costs :)

Hugs

dd xx

Raven Red said...

lil

Welcome! I really hope they do so quickly, but on the other hand can you think what they might come up with next?

Hugs

Raven

Raven Red said...

dd

Had quite a bit of fun I must say in finding these...were laughing so much...

Creative Commons License
Raven Red by Raven Red is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.