Amendments to travelling notes and luggage

I made a small mistake, and I admit, the consequences could have been serious, but I did not make the error intentionally or maliciously. Dearest Uncle Nick obviously hit the roof (both floors), and then resorted to his “hell has just frozen over” voice. The voice makes me nervous, and sadly, when I get nervous, I giggle, and the more I try not to giggle, well, suffice to say, quite a few of them escaped.  

With that lovely sarcasm of his which I so adore, I was then not only informed that "He is so happy, that I seem to find it so amusing", but another scribble was made into that skin thieving, tree destroying notebook of his.

(Raven’s Note: Watch this space for the sad announcement of the accidental demise of one moleskin notebook...not any fault of mine of course.)

(Raven’s Second Note: I am going to invest in a dictionary, as it is also clear that there is a huge difference between South African English and British English - my definition of happy is definitely not in agreement with his)

Then it was lecture time. I have honestly thought my days of attending fire and brimstone sermons were over for good, but seemingly, they are not. Now, I cannot be sure whether it was because I was tired, or that I did feel like an idiot for making such a daft mistake. Maybe it was the embarrassment or perhaps it was a combination of all of it, but a sudden a wave of rebellion came surging forward, faster than what Fidel can say Castro.

I was ready to stage a coup d'état, but hell, the initial rebellion had already turned into a  disastrous affair. It was nipped in the bud so quickly, and countered with that absolute awful question “Do you understand?” With the quiet threat made that the punishment will be escalated, if there is not an answer shortly forthcoming, had me fighting a different battle altogether. I knew the answer is affirmative in nature, my tongue knew how to form the word, but my brain had formulated a completely different message, lying on the tip of my tongue for delivery. After some severe infighting, a reluctant, mumbled yes eventually managed to escape from my lips. 

Did I then gracefully apologise and beg for mercy?

Well, let me put it this way: The liberal use of the word "whatever" followed by a major sulk for nearly twenty four hours, added with the refusal to engage in any conversation that required more than a yes or a no, is not recommended.

Therefore, being the practical person I am, and in preparation for my UK trip now only a couple of days away, I have amended my luggage and travel notes slightly.

1. Riot gear (it does state its purpose is to protect the body of the wearer)
2. Flamethrower (instant death to the moleskin notebook – do not take chances),
3. Ear drops and plugs (serious Sermon Syndrome ear infection requiring cotton wool being stuffed into ear canals)
4. Development of hacking cough with as polite people do, hand in front of mouth (should cover any escaping giggles and tell-tale movement of facial muscles)
5. Practise to say Yes, I do understand (complete sentence in mind – Do you understand that today I will take you shopping and I will pay for it on my credit card)
6. If all of above fails – beg very, very nicely and add a couple of sincere sounding “I am really, really sorry” for good measure.