Raven's Need a Spanking Awards

Sundays are my self-proclaimed lazy days, no use in even trying to deny it. I normally spend my morning online, reading various newspapers in an effort to keep up with the latest. I try to read as much as what I can, therefore I always read the international news first, then move across to the local news. Simple reason for that, the local news either have me laughing so much, that I need another nap, or get me so upset and hot under the collar, that I need erm...another nap.

Today I had another idea, which as Uncle Nick can verify, might be dangerous...for my bottom that is. However, for some odd reason lately, when reading the news, I had started wondering why it is that I must be the one presenting my bottom for mild little misunderstandings, when there are clearly more deserving persons that should have very red and warm bottoms?  Therefore, I have decided that every Sunday onwards, I will put forward a list for bottoms that, in my opinion, are urgently in need of a spanking.

The Artist, the Song, the Politician and another Artist

Tonight is the long awaited U2 concert in South Africa, with an audience attendance apparently estimated at 100 000. U2 does have a massive fan base in South Africa, but dear Bono today has upset most probably quite a bit of those fans by telling the local newspaper, The Sunday Times, that the anti-apartheid song, “Shoot the farmer” has a place within the culture of South Africa.

Unfortunately, this song is most often sung by Julius Malema, the outspoken ANC youthleader, who is currently facing a court hearing because of his singing talents being regarded as hate speech.

Poor ole Julius is in turn hated by an Afrikaans musician that has to the horror of most, also jumped onto to the political bandwagon recently. So not to be outdone, Steve Hofmeyer, has added his erm...R5000,00 worth of U2 tickets to the furore that has broken loose, as he torn them to shreds and politely dumped them into the Jukskei river as a token of protest.

Taking into account that the river is already polluted to the hilt, and that he is really far too old for tantrums, I am of the opinion that the first Raven’s Need a Spanking Award should be awarded with no further ado, to Mr Hofmeyer. In addition, all three of them then should have a stern lecture to decide who sings, who spin political tales, and who the hell is going to clean up the river!

The snake, a Pick-Up truck and the South African Police Force

A very deadly snake, a boomslang, had made the cab of the vehicle his home for about two weeks, but typical male, became restless and he decided to look for another home. Problem was, he made his decision during a trip underway, at reasonable speed, with a woman behind the steering wheel.

The driver is unable to recall anything after she spotted the snake sharing the vehicle with her, apart from the fact, that she battled to remember that she was suppose to undo the seatbelt in order to exit out the car properly.

The amazing bit of the story though, is the arrival of fifteen police officials on the scene. Fifteen? Fourteen bottoms should be burning... Oh, and the snake? Unharmed, caught by a professional snake catcher about three hours later, released back into the wild.

A Leash, a Penis and the French Journalist.

A 63-year-old woman and her 40-year-old companion were quietly strolling down a busy street in Carcassonne, France. However, it did appear that some exception was taken that she was leading him by a leash attached to his exposed penis, and as such, they were promptly arrested for public indecency.

In my opinion though, the journalist is in dire need of a spanking, the article only had a photo of the leash...where is the rest?!  Surely, someone took a photo? So much for keeping your readers fully informed.


dd said...

Brilliant, Rave, keep it up!

Raven Red said...

Thank you dd, it is a trial run..want to see if it is liked or not...

Max Vantage said...

Love it! Can't wait to see more people on your list who need spakings!

Brett B said...

Funny. Yes, I hope this is a regular feature. XO

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