My Right, My Choice, My Life

At times, I only shake my head and walk away, but for today, I am going to do a post about it. I yet again had to endure the sanctimonious drivel of a person that somewhere along the line forgot what an opinion is and what it is to be opinionated. I normally do not react publicly this way, however, this time; I want to make an exception. Raven Red is a blog about me, my relationships, my life, and the choices I have made and which I am still making. However, as honest as what I want this blog to be, it remains what it is. No one can claim to know me through my blog, for I am more than the written words that are reflected here every day.

Yet, it seems that in this online world not all people do realise or want to accept this. Intolerance, prejudice and judgements of characters are based on nothing more than what there is to read. I have to wonder whether there were any attempts to understand actions or reactions, or was it plainly based on discussion amongst peers, decisions being taken, easily brushing aside reasons that may not form part of the neatly, but unwanted, “defined” box that has been assigned to a person.

A year ago, I met a man, who did, within the first hour of realising that there was chemistry between us, become brutally honest about who and what he is. I was informed about his participation in the spanking trade, and he referred to himself as a pornographer of spanking kink. He is an educated man, highly intelligent that exercised his right to choose what he wants to do. There were many more tales to follow, some that had me gasping for breath and others that sent me into uncontrollable laughter. I was told about his temper, his philosophy towards life and woman. Cold, hard facts were given to me on a platter, letting me know of the side of him that is mostly seen in the public eye. I knew he was giving me a choice – I could walk away if I so deem fit. In that same hour, I asked the questions that were important to me, looking past the trappings of what has become his trade.

I did not walk away, for I chose not to package him into a box, as so many has done with me in the past. I am well aware of the harshness of words he can resort to at times, I have learned that when he protects me, he holds nothing back. He is one of the few people that understands that through all my bluster and non-chalant attitude, I am vulnerable and easily hurt, because he understands the terrible pain and loss I carry deep within me.  I am a fiery creature, headstrong, loyal and passionate, living and feeling life as it should be, but at times when pain, disillusionment and frustrations becomes more than what I can bear, a hardness creeps over me. He understands me fully, has not judged me once, and even though his hands will redden my bottom, never in anger, he ensures that I am returned to a softness, where only the best in me shines.

Even though this might not align to the expectations or concerns of some so quick to offer unwanted opinions, I truly know that I have finally found my safe harbour and that I am complete. We are both not perfect and make mistakes, we are both unwilling to accept the status quo when wanting more in life, but we have both found a quietness and peace when together.  I am more than words on a blog and I know who and what I am, so thank you for your concern, but at the end of the day, it remains my right to make choices for my life.

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