2011/11/05

Want/Need

The refusal to submit to any form of spanking for a two-month period born out of a spurt of stubbornness had led to a very short lived caning last Sunday, with me opting out at the first opportunity given. It is amazing how well HH knows me by now - he did state that the effect of the caning will only last for a couple of days. We had a tentative appointment scheduled for yesterday afternoon; however, HH had to cancel due to an important meeting.

I was not overly perturbed about it, in actual fact, I was having such a fun day yesterday, that the cancellation seemed not to matter very much. Or so I thought. Last night while chatting with Uncle Nick the first symptoms appeared. A feeling of discontent, slightly irritated with the world slowly started creeping over me. As the night wore on, things progressively deteriorated. As much as what I tried to curb the flow of conflicting emotions, it was of no use - I became more and more withdrawn, unsettled and restless.

I love to make bold statements when defiant; I will quite adamant declare that I do not want or need to be disciplined, I will be quick to point out that I do not want or need any sermons and I will vehemently argue that I do not want or need to be spanked. However, I find it quite ironic today that having being saved by the bell from a spanking yesterday, and should really be jubilant about my bottom being unharmed, I find myself instead craving for it with every fibre in my being.

I want and need to hear a stern voice saying the words that do not come with any other option but to obey, for that redirects me back to where I should be. I want and need to be disciplined, shown where the boundaries are yet again, for that is what calms and releases the stress within me. I want and need to be told to bend over, that I will be spanked, regardless of what I might or might not say for that is when I know I am no longer in control. I want and need that that wonderful/awful emotion when anticipation mixed with fear rise up in me as my knickers is lowered for that is then, that I know that I am beyond the point of no return. I want and need to be spanked.

7 comments:

Lea said...

I was vigorously nodding along throughout this. Wonderful post.

bree512 said...

I hope your opting out will not come as hastily as before. I trust you will get what you want and deserve quickly enough for I fear for the imbalance in the force of the spanking world that might tip the rest of us if that does not occur. Please, please some Toppy person answer Raven's and our plea!

:wink: ;)

Raven Red said...

Lea

Thank you.

Hugs

Raven

Raven Red said...

Bree

Somewhere in there I do detect some form of support..I think. (GRIN)

And for me opting out - you give me a gap, I am SO going to take it...I am rather an expert at that. (WEG)

Hugs

Raven

krista said...

Really great post! :)

bree512 said...

My support is always available and there for you on my laptop, Raven. I only always wish everyone the best and hope for anything good that others truly want. :)

Hugs,

Raven Red said...

Bree

I know...the good is not always what I think I want...but what I need.

Hugs

Raven

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