2010/12/28

The Wall

There once was a woman, who was admired for her strength, control and her ability to lead, but sadly, nobody was able to see her for the woman she was. They could not see that she was looking to hand over her strength, nor did they realise that she desperately wanted to relinquish her control, and she knew, they would not understand that she wanted to be shown the way. She became lonely, doubting herself, her womanhood, and she started building a wall around her inner core. She used pride and sarcasm as the building bricks, and used rebellion to cement them together. She was locking away her loneliness and hurt, as she had given up hope. As the years went by, and the hurt inside her grew, the wall became thicker and higher.


 Then one day she met a man. He appeared gentle in nature, his face weathered by the years,   and as she listened to him and read his words, she could see the wisdom and strength of him. However, over the years, she had become so accustomed to protect herself, her tongue and wit sharpened on the stone of disillusionment, that as she starting talking to him, she did not heed his warning, as he softly demanded for respect to be shown. She had heard these words before in the past, and knew from bitter experience, that they are normally without value or weight. But no matter how hard she tried, how barbed the comments, how sarcastic the tone, she soon realised that she was unable to take control, to have him fail as many others before him did. 

As resentment at her own failure built up, her inability to prove yet again that his words were as meaningless and empty as so many uttered before him, her temper flared, and she lashed out at him, fully believing that she would finally claim victory over this strange and enigmatic man. To her surprise and horror, he told her quietly again, that respect will be shown, failure to do so. As her anger overtook her, spitting out words in defiance and contempt, he took her by the arm, and warned her once more. Blinded in her fury, she tried to twist her arm away, but he only pulled her closer to him and told her that she will obey.


She could scarcely believe it when he pulled her over his lap, holding her firmly in place. Her horror increased as she felt her skirt being lifted away, his hand against her thighs and legs as he pulled down her panties, with her her bottom left exposed and bare. She kicked with all her might, trying to cover herself up, to break free from his iron grip, desperate for him to let her go.  When his hand came down hard on her bare bottom, she was shocked into silence, not believing what was happening to her. She felt humiliation wash over her, turning her face crimson with shame and she tried anew to break free, but found herself only being gripped tighter, firmly kept in place over his lap.

 His hand was coming down on her bottom, in a slow rhythm of heat and sound. With her hand, she tried to cover her nakedness, horrified at the sound of his hand smacking against her flesh, feeling the heat of his hand's imprint, but he only gripped her arm, while continuing his slow rhythm of heat and sound on her bottom. Soon the heat was turning into pain, and although she tried not to utter a further sound, she found herself whimpering as pain and heat spread over her bottom. Her sounds of discomfort had no effect on him, his hand continuing to come down on her bottom, alternating from cheek to cheek. The pain became her focus, and with her bottom on fire, she pleaded with him to stop, telling him she was sorry, regretting every word she spit out at him, but his hand kept coming down, relentlessly.


The pain had become unbearable, but her shame, remembering her behaviour, was burning inside her. As she closed her eyes mortified at her own conduct, she suddenly, deep inside herself, felt a piece of her wall breaking free. She tried to ignore the urge within her, wanting to hold onto her protective shield, but as the first sob escaped her, she knew it was too late. With tears streaming down her face, she realised that her shame of what she had become, had broken a part of her wall down, and it was crumbling into nothingness. She felt her body relaxed against his, aware of him, his strength, his body and his hardness against her. Although her bottom was on fire, burning with intensity that she had never thought possible, she offered no further resistance, knowing she is deserving of the punishment, accepting his hand connecting against her bare flesh.

He finally pulled her up against her, cradling her in his arms, her face nestling against his chest, his hand now quietly covering her burning bottom. With her tears slowly subsiding, she was amazed at how safe, protected and loved she felt. And as he held her, gently and lovingly, she realised that although he had seen her intelligence and her strengths, he had seen so much more. He saw that she was looking to hand over her strength, he realised that she desperately wanted to relinquish her control, and she knew, he understood that she wanted to be shown the way.

10 comments:

Dioneo said...

Beautiful, Raven! We all build up these walls; it's liberating to have them broken down.

Sara said...

This was just terrific. I really related.

Anonymous said...

Great story Red, was this how it went for you?

RC

thepinkreport said...

Beautifully written and spot-on, Raven. The walls we erect aren't so much to keep people out, but to see who will climb them.

I'm happy you found your rock climber.

Brett B said...

That's a story that's been told many times. You made it personal and poignant. And exciting. XO

Raven Red said...

Dioneo

Thank you, and I totally agree. That feeling when you realise you finally did let go of something that was not really protecting you, but was actually only become a burden, is liberating.

Hugs

Raven

Raven Red said...

Sara

Thanks for commenting, and happy to hear that you could relate.

Hugs

Raven

Raven Red said...

RC

Thanks for you compliments on Facebook yesterday, and yes, for me, it is still a process. I have formidable walls...

Hugs

Raven

Raven Red said...

Miss Pink

Thank you. Looking at some of my walls, I sometimes only have to wonder, why I had put so much effort into them...

Hugs

Raven

Raven Red said...

Brett

Thank you, and as you rightly said, it is a story that is told over and over, but yet, we all continue to build the walls.
Sad thing is that sometimes we work so hard at making sure they are intact, that we miss out on life..

Hugs

Raven

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Raven Red by Raven Red is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.