2011/01/06

I remembered

As I was waking up this morning,
I felt the rain on my face, and oh, how it rained on that day
I saw your face, quiet, a small smile, as if only asleep
I heard a sound so wretched, my soul torn apart,
Because I remembered, you were no longer here.

As I was waking up this morning,
I felt the heat of the candles on my face, one each for every year of your age.
I saw the flowers, brilliant in their colours; roses, lilies and orchids too,
I heard soft voices murmuring, gentle touches to my arm, faces blurring
Because I remembered, you were no longer here.

As I was waking up this morning,
I felt the hard wood underneath my hand, smooth and cold under my final touch
I saw my sorrow echoed in faces, staring at me, the numbness of it all
I heard the scrape of shovels, the clumps of soil thudding away, sounds of a heart breaking
Because I remember, you were no longer here

As I was waking up this morning,
I felt the hollowness inside, the searing cold of knowing, my helplessness in it all
I saw your face, so young, now forever frozen in time, never to change
I heard the steady drip of rain, tears from heaven
Because I remembered, you were no longer here.

As I was waking up this morning
I felt the gift of love that you brought with you, my joy in my love for you
I saw you, your face excited, animated, and so beautiful in your trust in me
I heard your voice, babbling away, your laughter hanging in the air
And I smiled, because I remembered, in my heart, every day, you always will be

10 comments:

thepinkreport said...

This is a beautiful testament of your love for your child. My heart goes out to you, Raven, every day, but on this day in particular.

"Death ends a life, not a relationship."

His gift to you is your remembrance of him. Hold it near, tight and strong.

Dioneo said...

So deeply moving, Raven. I'm lost for words at the rawness of the pain and beauty of the last stanza. It's wonderful poetry, but that characterization doesn't do it justice.

ronnie said...

Oh Raven my heart goes out to you. Beautiful and moving.

Love,
Ronnie
xx

Raven Red said...

Pink, Dioneo and Ronnie

Thank you. Some years are better than others, this one, was not.
Not totally in line with TTWD, but on the other hand, it is a part of me, that makes me - me.

Hugs

Raven

Brett B said...

That was incredibly moving. I'm so sorry for your loss, Raven. Hugs.

Raven Red said...

Brett

Thank you. We are all human, and Raven Red is just as much me, as what I am Raven Red.
This event has shaped me in a way so different to what I use to be, and although I would give everything to have it changed - it cannot be.

Hugs

Raven

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your loss and pain.
Excellent poem.

CB

Raven Red said...

CB

(HUG)

Raven

Anonymous said...

I wanted to comment earlier but couldn't.

This post made me cry for you and with you.

I wish I had something wise to say but all I can do is send you love.

dd x

Raven Red said...

DD

There are no wise words for anyone that has suffered the loss of a child, but the acts of compassion and support, as your comment (as well as all the other comments on this post) reflect, is more valuable than any word that can be spoken.

Thank you.

Hugs

Raven

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Raven Red by Raven Red is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.