Par for the course?

In the course of my work, I have to regularly attend seminars and this week was no exception. Taking into account that you are served breakfast and lunch, have ample of cold drinks, water, coffee or tea to get hold off, never mind the little mints that they put out on the tables, I was quite keen to get away from a day's work and the politics around it. As per normal in these seminars, there is the required icebreaker. So when the inevitable “My name Raven Red, I am Head of Chaos, and have been with the company far too long” part came along, I had a near successful attempt in not being the one that focus will fall on for the day. Please note – near successful.

  

Non-functioning traffic lights as per the standard when we have rain and traffic congestion due to some idiots attempting major road works without considering the impact on suburbs and the roads around it, presented the first problem. Then I have to add the  Metro (Traffic) police so skilled to find the nearest shade providing tree, that it is actually mindboggling to see how many vehicles they manage to park around one small and scared looking tree. With the roads in mayhem, and our proud public servants idly looking on, not even attempting to hide yawns and boredom, I was late.

In light of the seminar being presented by an external consultant to which I did not want to be appear rude in front of,  I offered my apologies in my opening lines of my required rambling of who I am, and what I do in the company. In his late fifties, maybe early sixties, dressed very nicely, cufflinks and the works, I had this pair of steely blue eyes looking at me whilst I was going through my song and dance.  He did have some comment on my speech, which of course, with me being me, resulted in a short sparring of words between the two of us. By the time we were allowed our first tea break an hour later, realisation had dawned upon me that all previous ideas about enjoying the day away from work, had become nil and void.

I had managed to put myself squarely in the limelight, and it was only to my advantage to make sure that I paid attention to every word he had to say, as it did appear that most of the input required on his lecture had become my responsibility. The first signs of trouble appeared, while we were completing a self-assessment questionnaire on part of the work covered. A couple of the executive management team members were having a whispered conversation and some laughs, when he, without even lifting up his head from where he was sifting through his paperwork, said, “Quiet please”.

Immediately, to the consternation of all I think, a silence fell over the room, which was unusual. A couple of glances were exchanged, with everyone then focusing on the paperwork in front of them. The tone in which the two words were said clearly meant business, no arguments would be accepted and immediate obedience was expected. Then the role-playing scenarios were introduced into the lecture, which had mostly to do with exercises showing how to be assertive without being aggressive. He even managed to reduce the most outspoken person in the group, into a red faced, distinctly uncomfortable looking female that mumbled her apologies for an imagined sin. However, it was when she added the “Sir” bit that I could feel my whole body reacting, heating up in a very non-corporate, unprofessional manner.

During the lunch break, he opted to sit next to me, and although I tried to maintain the cheeky exterior, my reactions to him were overall very submissive, which in turn, earned me a couple of strange stares from my boss. I have no idea what the food tasted like, in my haste to remove myself from the table, I was on automatic pilot, not even lifting up my head, refusing to engage in any prolonged conversation, panicking that someone will notice my uncharacteristic behaviour.

 

It did not get better after lunch either. As he walked up and down in front of us, I found myself staring at him, thinking, and “I wonder if he is a spanker?” Immediately I would suffer a bout of embarrassed guilt, but lo and behold, a couple of minutes later, I would find myself looking at his hands, thinking, “I wonder how hard his hands are, they rather DO look like they could give a good spanking”. It was when I was measuring his lap, wondering if he would be able to pull me over, if I would feel the cold of the cufflinks against an exposed back and bottom that I seriously started praying for the day to end.

When the end of the seminar was declared, I mumbled a couple of excuses why I would not be able to stay for the normal mingling bit afterwards, and got out of there faster than what anyone would be able to say “Spank”. It is now a couple of days later, and I am still wondering why I reacted the way I did, why when in my normal work environment where I am normally very dominant, a man that I do not know, managed without his knowledge (I think) to bring out the submissive in me so strongly. Most importantly though, I am panicking/wondering how I am going to survive the next scheduled seminar...