I have a slight problem with anticipation. It is not in my genetic make-up to be made to wait for something, regardless whether it might be pleasant or unpleasant. Even worse, I absolutely hate being unsure about anything. I NEED to know the outcome and the sooner the better. And when a touch of fear is added into the cauldron, I become very unsettled. I tend to change from a self-reliant, confident woman, to one that becomes scatter minded, and unable to fully focus at whatever task is at hand.

Because I am a couple of years too late to register as a client with the Oracle of Delphi and Paul the Octopus has decided to go to octopus heaven, I had to develop a strategy in order to compensate for these moments. I embark on a fact-finding mission and try to gather all the information available. Normally at the end of one of these exercises, I would have resolved either the waiting period or the uncertainty. However, in cases where I could not totally resolve the situation, but have sufficient information, I apply a simple policy. Ignore it – it will go away, or I will deal with it when it needs to be dealt with.

 The problem is that both HH and Uncle Nick have realised that armed with enough information, I do have this unique ability to act like an ostrich, sticking my head in the sand, and ignore anything until I have to deal with it. In effect it means that to a large extend I am able to ignore any upcoming requirements to present my bottom, until the time actually arrives. Being the kind-hearted, obliging gentlemen they are, both had implemented corrective measures.

HH now absolutely refuses to divulge any information about what form a scheduled punishment session will take. No matter how much I cajole, beg or sulk, he cannot be moved. In my efforts to find out what will be in store for my bottom, I would eventually resort to using words such as “whatever” or “FINE!” For some odd reason, this does seem to be   directly connected to the upwards movement of the scheduled quantity of the strokes. Sadly, I have to report, I do have an appointment with HH on Monday afternoon, but for reasons stated above, that is all I know.

For his part, Uncle Nick, has this little annoying habit of noting my misdemeanours in his damn moleskin notebook. In addition, he loves to remind in detail of how he is looking forward to warming my bottom in the future. He has even went as far to post a video showing his preparation in readying an evil looking implement, scheduled to make the acquaintance of my bottom. In the period that I spent with him, I have also established to the detriment of my bottom that sulking does not work, and arguing is not advisable. And when a session is due with HH, Uncle Nick makes very sure that he keeps on reminding me about the appointment... as he has done today - about ten thousand times...

So, here I am, having to deal with a bottom that seems to tingle and clench at the most inopportune moments, short circuiting my normal brain functions, as it reminds me that Monday afternoon will be soon arriving...


Uncle Nick said...

White man that I am, I am only ever too happy to tell you what you can expect from me. However I do like reminding you of what you can expect from others, that at least is true.

Raven Red said...

Uncle Nick

You do tell me what to expect, but you do not tell when to expect it, which is in a way worse...(HINT)
Sigh...not that is going to work.


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